Cats Stealing Dog Beds


http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com/2013/10/cats-stealing-dog-beds-compilation.html

Watching this made my day better! I love http://www.tastefullyoffensive.com

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Video

Can Ya Relate??


I’m just sayin’…..

Gotta love the old gal!!

I Failed a Test


Another random silly email from one of my crazy friends:

IF you are over 45 yrs old, you SHOULD take this Alzheimer’s Test.

How fast can you guess these words and fill-in the Blanks?

1. _ _NDOM

2. F_ _K

3. P_N_S

4. PU_S_

5. S_X

6. BOO__

Answers below:

1. RANDOM

2. FORK

3. PANTS

4. PULSE

5. SIX

6. BOOKS

You got all 6 wrong….didn’t you?
(I did)

Good news!!  You do NOT have Alzheimer’s

You are a Pervert

Riddle Me This–with answer


Think about this and see if you can come up with the answer.  The answer is completely  G rated…..

Riddle of the Day   (answer below)

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one.
Michael J. Fox has a small one.
Madonna doesn’t have one.
The Pope has one but doesn’t use it.
Clinton uses his all the time.
Obama is one.
Mickey Mouse has an unusual one.
Liberace never used his on women..
Jerry Seinfeld is very, very proud of his.
Cher claims that she took on 3.
We never saw Lucy use Desi’s.

What is it?  Think about it….. The answer is——- a LAST NAME!

Brand Name or Generic?


Another funny email from my friend Roger.  Given the path of research $$ in American, I’m afraid it’s only half tongue-in-cheek.
All drugs have two names, a trade name and generic name. Example, the trade name is Tylenol and it’s generic name is Acetaminophen.. Aleve is also called Naproxen.

Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.
The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra.

After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin.
Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin.

Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer.
It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one.

Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of ‘cocktails’, ‘highballs’ and just a good old-fashioned ‘stiff drink’.


Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.

Thought for the day: There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer’s research.

This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

 
   
 

Old is….


‘OLD’ IS
WHEN…
Your
sweetie says, ‘Let’s go upstairs and make love,’ and you answer, ‘Pick one; I can’t do
both!’

‘OLD’ IS
WHEN…

Your
friends compliment you on your new alligator shoes and you’re
barefoot.

‘OLD’ IS
WHEN…

A sexy babe catches your fancy and your pacemaker
opens the garage door,

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
Going braless pulls all the
wrinkles out of your face.

‘OLD’ IS WHEN…
You
don’t care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don’t have to go
along.

‘OLD’
IS WHEN…

You are
cautioned to slow down by the doctor instead of by the
police

‘OLD’
IS WHEN.
..
‘Getting a little action’ means you
don’t need to take any fiber today.

‘OLD’
IS WHEN…
‘Getting
lucky’ means you find your car in the parking lot.

‘OLD’
IS WHEN…
An ‘all-nighter’ means not getting up
to use the bathroom.

AND

‘OLD’ IS
WHEN…

You are
not sure these are
jokes.

Lipstick & Lessons


I continue to be without a voice, but I do have plenty of ice cream which makes me feel better about it.  For those who I’m friends with on FB, you’ve read this one.  I had to put it here too though!

*Pure genius.  This was sent to me by a friend; there was no name to give credit for authorship but it will forever admire the mind this sprang from! *

A certain private Catholic school was recently faced with a unique problem. A

counterfeitchic.com

number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine provided it was of a natural or neutral skin tone, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.

Every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back.

Finally the principal, Sister Paschal, decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance

xomba

man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, Sister Paschal asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.

He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it.

Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.

Thoughts on Life, Friends & Pretty Underwear


One day my friend “S” became my patient..  She is always so cheery and vibrant but one day, she began having chest pain.  That bought her a ticket to me.  Of course, the drill began–off with the clothes, on with the monitors, out goes the modesty…

As she undressed, I saw she had on the most AWESOME matching underwear and bra.  Seriously.   I told her how pretty it was and she laughed out loud.  Then she went on to tell the story of why she always wears pretty under stuff  and it rang true with me.  She said it made her feel “better and more put-together”.  After all, “some days, all I can control is my damned underwear!”.  Then we BOTH had a laugh!

The exchange got me thinking…..I suppose it’s the same thing as not saving the good china for “special” occasions.  Every day needs to be special.    When I got home, I decided to clean out my under drawers drawer.  It was pretty bleak and sparse since I’ve been commando for several years– with the exception of work.   I know–TMI–sorry.

I waded through my dozen pair of beige and gray cotton granny panties I wear under my scrubs and pared them down to a dull roar, then I looked at my two bras.  My favorite one is black and purple (really) and I’ve had it since my daughter was six months old; she’s 19 years old now–yes, it’s true.  The other one is beige and I bought it to wear with T-shirts.  That’s it.  Beige and itchy.  Throw it out!  Done.

Then I headed to Walmart, just to see what was available.  Keep in mind, my body is an economy model.  I don’t need any special devices or engineering, just a little smoothing.  Comfort is king in my world.  So….Everything I saw had under wire, stiff lace and padding (lots!) and water liners (REALLY??)  and bling–where were the simple, pretty bras??  I FINALLY  found the Hanes Comfort line.  Soft, tagless, cotton, pretty, simply decorated, throw-in-the-washer bras.  AND they were inexpensive!!  SOLD! Then I found the pretty cotton panties to go with my pretty cotton bras…..Bought myself a nice little gift!  Now I think about putting myself together-at least more than in the recent past….I might look plain on the outside–but under it all, I’m the bomb-diggity!!

P/S:  To finish the original story, “S” was fine and had no cardiac issues.  False alarm, thank goodness!  Now, every time I see her we exchange a look and a laugh.  Sometimes we’ll even discreetly show each other a strap if it’s something especially pretty….

Worth repeating–I LOVE the Graphics Fairy!

The Graphics Fairy

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