The Subtle Nuance of Female Speak


DISCLAIMER:  This is not my creation and I cannot (and do not) take credit for the humor that follows. However, I wish I could.  With that being said–I AM  guilty of using the language. This was sent to me by a MALE friend.  I’m glad he’s finally taking lessons!

(1) Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

(2) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

(3) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.
(4) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don’t Do It!

(5) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to # 3 for the meaning of nothing.)

(6) That’s Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That’s okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

(7) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you’re welcome. (I want to add in a clause here – This is true, unless she says ‘Thanks a lot’ – that is PURE sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say ‘you’re welcome’ . that will bring on a ‘whatever’).

(8) Whatever: Is a woman’s way of saying *&^%$ YOU!

(9) Don’t worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking ‘What’s wrong?’ For the woman’s response refer to # 3.

Print and hang on the refrigerator so your fellow will ALWAYS have a reference tool!


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Autoimmune Maven
    May 26, 2011 @ 09:01:26

    Glad you got a laugh and thanks for reading!! I’m trying to get back into the habit of posting, but everything in my head seems so boring….


  2. dogkisses
    May 25, 2011 @ 06:47:13

    Oh what a truthful post. Someone knows women well! Thanks for the laugh!


  3. Maureen
    May 24, 2011 @ 02:03:48

    I love this…and I will print it and put it on the fridge!
    Thanks for the laugh!


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