Oh….GEEZ!!


(disclaimer-as hilarious as this is, I’m glad I can’t take credit for it.  Another email sent by one of my friends)

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing ‘Father’s Details,’ or putting it another way…  Who’s your baby’s Daddy?  These are genuine excerpts from the forms.  Be sure to check out #11, it takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up.

Sage advice...

1.  Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2…  I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind.  I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3.  I do not know the name of the father of my little girl.  She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night.  I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted.  If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number?  Thanks…

4.  I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter.  He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.  Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.

5.  I have never had sex with a man.  I am still a Virginian.  I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son’s conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6.  I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia’s dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy  I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country..  Please advise.

7.  I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

8.  Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A.  If you do catch up with him, can you axe him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?  Child B who was also borned at the same time…..  well, I don’t have clue..

9.  From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World.  Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .

10.  So much about that night is a blur.  The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.  If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave , mine might have remained unfertilized.

11.  I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can’t be sure which one made you fart.

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7 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. dogkisses
    Mar 17, 2011 @ 06:13:09

    PS Again…

    Sheila, I just saw where you have a list of frugal living blogs. Very nice. I wanted to share a blog with you that I recently discovered written by a man, John Hayden. It is quite the different kind of blog than I am used to. Most bloggers I know are women with illnesses. His blog is quite different, but I like it because it is genuine and sincere. I just thought you might like it since you are interested in frugal living. So am I, but then, I don’t have much choice in the matter. I think even if I was rich, I’d still be interested though.

    His blog is “Dispatches from ConsterNation” — (lifeaftersixty on WordPress) –just thought I’d share that.

    Peace and well wishes.

    Reply

  2. dogkisses
    Mar 17, 2011 @ 05:56:23

    Hi Sheila,

    I sure understand about being knocked out of any routine. I can’t keep up with folks online. I’m not a member b/c I’m not currently active on FB. Another place where things happen quickly. I’ll get interested in something, and by the time I’m ready, ten more projects have passed me by. People move quickly in the blogging world. I just do the best I can.

    I’d like to give you an award, one which is fun if you like to tell stories. I know though that when we are sick, getting an award that requires work can be less than fun. I’m going to post on my blog today with the award and the five recipients I chose. I hope you don’t mind and if you can’t participate, then all is good.

    I hope you have a nice day and feel better.

    Michelle.
    PS Thank you for the invite too. If I do become active on FB again, which I’ve been considering lately, I will certainly check out Graceful Agony’s group!

    Reply

    • Autoimmune Maven
      Mar 17, 2011 @ 07:37:31

      Thank you so much for reading and I really appreciate the award; it’s my first!!! Thank you for thinking of me :-)). I’ll check out the blog you mentioned. I’m always on the look-out for interesting stuff and I am a frugal freak (and a closet sci-fi nerd, but I digress….). I try to be prepared because I’ve seen hard times come and go. Advance planning makes it not suck so bad, most times at least. I really do appreciate your reading!

      Reply

  3. dogkisses
    Mar 16, 2011 @ 06:54:26

    Very funny! I needed a laugh. Thanks for posting. It really is hard to believe these are true, but I take your word for it. Wow!

    Reply

    • Autoimmune Maven
      Mar 16, 2011 @ 09:46:31

      Thanks for reading!! I need to get back on the blogging bus but this last round of sickness knocked me out of my routine. Are you a member of our Graceful Agony FB group?? We’d love to have you!

      Reply

  4. Kathy
    Mar 05, 2011 @ 16:33:42

    oh my….

    Reply

  5. mo
    Mar 01, 2011 @ 09:11:39

    Sheila, This are hilarious! But sadly this is what is happening everywhere! Funny…..but true,
    mo

    Reply

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