A Moment of Silence

For those of you who don’t know, I work two jobs.  One is in critical care and the other is in a half-way house for women with substance abuse and mental health issues.  I’ve been doing both jobs for about four years now and it has been an exhausting but extremely rewarding haul.

Sweet-luscious @ photobucket

When I started working at the half-way house there was a woman who had been there just a few months and she was a couple years older than me.  She’d had a long life of drugs,  alcohol, physical abuse and depression; both of her adult children were following in her footsteps and she was completely fed-up with the whole process.

As she progressed through the program, we cultivated a relationship.  Our personalities were very different and I was not especially fond of her overall.  She had a  difficult time letting go of old behaviors and toxic people from her past.  When situations got “tough”, she  reverted  to the old habits of manipulation and bullying; the whole staff spent significant time calling her out.


She graduated,  returning to her home where she dealt with her adult addict children and her formerly abusive spouse.  I was extremely skeptical of  her continued success. Weeks came and went. She kept in touch, sponsoring new women entering the program and continuing to lead her family by example.

About a year after graduation she called to say she had been diagnosed with lung cancer and she wanted to thank us for giving her her life back.  She went through chemotherapy and radiation, continuing to work with women in addiction and expressing gratitude for the opportunity to live the last part of her life sober and straight.


She died a few weeks back. Last night her husband brought her belonging to the half-way house for the ladies to go through and pick what they needed.  She had remembered what it was like to move in –with only the clothes on her back–  and she wanted to help others as she had been helped.

I stood in the lobby bawling like a baby with residents gathering around me.  We looked through her things and I smiled as some of the ladies found their first pair of jeans since being sober & straight.  Little things matter and small gestures change the world for someone.

I love you and I’m proud of you.

This moment of silence is for you.


Searching for Self-Discipline

Back in ‘the day’ I was the go-to girl.  First one in–last one out, volunteering for extra assignments, taking extra classes and I LOVED IT.


Setting goals, planning strategies and achieving outcomes was second nature and I was accustomed to being successful.  Sounds a little smug & bitchy when I lay it out like that……

When I faced a difficult task, I dove into and completed it–one little task at a time–and it seemed so easy to me then.  Now I’m faced with NO LONGER being the go-to gal because my health won’t allow.  So….I (in my mind) have an obligation to manage my life and health as well as possible.  Doing so will keep me as active as possible for as long as possible–makes sense.

HOWEVER…..My personal discipline has evaporated like water on hot pavement.  What the hell happened to me???  I know I feel better when I eat better–do I do it???  NOOOOO.  At work last night I ate a piece of coconut cake and a snickers.  I told myself I wouldn’t “indulge” at work– yet I did.

Everything has a pay-off or we wouldn’t do it; that’s human nature.  So what am I gaining by sabotaging myself???  Suggestions please…..  Am I afraid of being successful and feeling better?? I sure hope not….  MY goal is to shed 20 lbs–it’s not rocket surgery for pete’s sake. Maybe it’s time to start taking my own advice??  Ya think??

I also know I feel better when I stretch 15 minutes a day, but I don’t do it. Why the hell not?? I feel better when I keep a consistent sleep schedule, but I don’t do that either.  What’s really crazy is I teach all of this stuff to my patients and encourage them to use whatever tools necessary to achieve their goals.  Yet I’m not doing it and if I’m not compliant, I’m sure they aren’t either most of the time.

I’m gonna have to get to the bottom of my psychological quandary because I REALLY hate feeling like a failure…..

Tips, tricks & suggestions appreciated!!

Silent Sunday







worshiperspiritand truth











Checking-in & Hoping for “Found” Funds

I have been MIA.  Busy and sick.  Sick and busy. sleep, sleep, sleep.  Sorry I’ve been a VERY negligent blogger.

I love this pic!

I’ve resting & trying to take better care of myself.

My awesome blogger friend Dog Kisses gave me a marvelous blog award!!!  Thank you, thank you, thank you!!  I haven’t paid it forward yet but it’s on my short list of blogs to create.


NOW-My next talking point:

Below I have listed three websites where you can search for “lost” money on a state and federal level.  A couple of them have links to Canada on them as well.  It can’t hurt to check it out.  I have friends who have found anywhere from pocket change amounts to a few hundred $$$$. I’m going to be searching for a while, as it is important to search under ALL alias’s.  I’ve been married three times, so I may have to make a pot of coffee to get through it on three sites….

Anyway, just wanted to share the info–and hopefully the wealth!

FYI–I just LOVE to center posts.  It appeals to my sense of order and balance.

The sites are http://www.unclaimed.org/




Since my last post I have been grossly unwell.  I am now able to walk to the bathroom without being short of breath, but still not recuperated on any grand scale.   As usual, some random cold virus hopped on board; as it ran it’s course it tripped that OMG autoimmune funk/crohn’s “thing” and…… let the games begin…  No solid food retention since Friday–which was four days ago–but I finally feel a little hungry-ish.  As usual, only salty things sound good and I cannot STAND to look at another Sprite.

Today I’m going to stick to white, bland foods.  If those “do okay” then I’ll venture into the realm of colors tomorrow or the next day.  Sometimes I can be semi-normal in a couple of weeks and other times it takes a couple of months.

Just wanted to update and whine a little.  Any of you guys have suggestions for crawling back up out of the muck??


(disclaimer-as hilarious as this is, I’m glad I can’t take credit for it.  Another email sent by one of my friends)

The following are all replies that Detroit women have written on Child Support Agency Forms in the section for listing ‘Father’s Details,’ or putting it another way…  Who’s your baby’s Daddy?  These are genuine excerpts from the forms.  Be sure to check out #11, it takes 1st prize and #3 is runner up.

Sage advice...

1.  Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, Makeeshia was fathered by Maclearndon McKinley I am unsure as to the identity of the father of Marlinda, but I believe that she was conceived on the same night.

2…  I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind.  I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3.  I do not know the name of the father of my little girl.  She was conceived at a party at 3600 East Grand Boulevard where I had sex with a man I met that night.  I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted.  If you do manage to track down the father, can you please send me his phone number?  Thanks…

4.  I don’t know the identity of the father of my daughter.  He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.  Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he’s had it replaced.

5.  I have never had sex with a man.  I am still a Virginian.  I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son’s conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.

6.  I cannot tell you the name of Alleshia’s dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy  I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country..  Please advise.

7.  I do not know who the father of my child was as they all look the same to me.

8.  Tyrone Hairston is the father of child A.  If you do catch up with him, can you axe him what he did with my AC/DC CDs?  Child B who was also borned at the same time…..  well, I don’t have clue..

9.  From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World.  Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom .

10.  So much about that night is a blur.  The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening.  If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 8956 Miller Ave , mine might have remained unfertilized.

11.  I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can’t be sure which one made you fart.

Shared Insanity

These tips and tid-bits were shared by my friend Chamie; she and I share a special kind of crazy!  Neither of us can take credit for the creation of these insane ideas but we love sharing them!!

To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity …


1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom.

Don’t Disguise Your Voice !

3. Every Time Someone Asks YouTo Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their

Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.

Loaded Canon Art

5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks,

Write ‘For Marijuana’

6. Finish All Your sentences with

‘In Accordance With The Prophecy.’

7. Skip down the hall rather than Walk

And see how many looks you get.
8. Order a Diet Water whenever you go

Out to eat, with a serious face.

9 . Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is ‘To Go.’

10. Sing Along At The Opera.

11. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

12. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can’t Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.

13. When The Money Comes Out The ATM,

Scream ‘I Won! I Won!’

14 . When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling ‘Run For Your Lives! They’re Loose!’

15. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ‘Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.’

Worth repeating–I LOVE the Graphics Fairy!

The Graphics Fairy

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Erica’s Running Journey

Erica’s Running Journey