Companionship and Changing Priorities


Once again, I am passing on wisdom of unknown origin.  My friend Susie sent this, knowing I’d laugh ’til I blew coffee out of my nose.  She was right!!

WARNING!!

What A Woman Wants In A Man!
Original List: age (20 something)

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer  things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises


What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)


1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries  bags of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and  anniversaries


What I Want in a Man,  Revised List (age 42)

1.  Not too ugly
2.  Doesn’t drive off until I’m in the car
3.  Works steady – splurges on dinner out occasionally
4.  Nods head when I’m talking
5.  Usually remembers punch lines of my jokes
6.  Is in good enough shape to rearrange the furniture
7.  Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8.  Knows not to buy chocolate when I’m dieting
9.  Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in  a Man, Revised List (age 52)

1.  Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2.  Doesn’t belch or scratch in public
3.  Can tow a RV or drive a Motor Home
4.  Can BBQ
5.  Doesn’t re-tell the same joke too many times
6.  Appreciates a good TV dinner
7.  Helps with the housework

What I Want in a Man,  Revised List (age 62)

1.  Doesn’t scare small children
2.  Remembers where I have put things
3.  Can still tow a van without causing chaos on the road
4.  Only snores lightly when asleep
5.  Remembers why he’s laughing
6.  Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7.  Usually wears some clothes
8.  Doesn’t notice my facial hair and wrinkles
9.  Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Stops trying to tell jokes


What I Want in a Man,  Revised List (age 72)

1.
Breathing.
2.    Doesn’t miss the toilet.

3.   Remembers where we both live.
———————————————————————————————————————–
A WIFE’S WAY TO SOLVE A HUSBAND’S MID-LIFE CRISIS

AFTER  BEING MARRIED FOR 44 YEARS, I TOOK A CAREFUL LOOK AT MY WIFE ONE  DAY AND SAID, “HONEY, 44 YEARS AGO WE HAD A CHEAP APARTMENT, A  CHEAP CAR, SLEPT ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHED A 10-INCH BLACK AND  WHITE TV, BUT I GOT TO SLEEP EVERY NIGHT WITH A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD  GAL. 

NOW I HAVE A $500,000.00 HOME, A  $45,000…00 CAR, NICE BIG BED AND PLASMA SCREEN TV, BUT I’M  SLEEPING WITH A 65-YEAR-OLD WOMAN. IT SEEMS TO ME THAT YOU’RE NOT  HOLDING UP YOUR SIDE OF THINGS.”

MY WIFE IS A VERY  REASONABLE WOMAN.  SHE TOLD ME TO GO OUT AND FIND A HOT 25-YEAR-OLD GAL, AND SHE WOULD MAKE SURE THAT I WOULD ONCE AGAIN BE LIVING IN A CHEAP APARTMENT, DRIVING A CHEAP CAR, SLEEPING ON A SOFA BED AND WATCHING A 10-INCH BLACK AND WHITE TV.

AREN’T OLDER WOMEN  GREAT? THEY REALLY KNOW HOW TO SOLVE YOUR MID-LIFE  CRISIS!

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2 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Maureen
    Feb 20, 2011 @ 23:25:23

    This is great…I forwarded it to my hubby!

    Reply

    • Autoimmune Maven
      Feb 21, 2011 @ 09:09:39

      It’s crazy, isn’t it? I’m sure there’s a measure of sensationalism involved, because that’s the way politics operate but the topics are truly in question. I just couldn’t believe it girlfriend!

      Reply

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