I HAD to Share This One Too…..


He Said To Me…….

(I’m not a man-basher-really)


He said to me . … . I don’t know why you wear a bra; you’ve got nothing to put in it.I said to him …. . . You wear underwear don’t you?

He said to me … . ……… Shall we try swapping positions tonight?
I said: That’s a good idea – you stand by the stove & sink while I sit on the sofa and do nothing but
fart

He said to me. … What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?
I said to him . …..
Turn sideways and look in the mirror!

He said to me. ….. Why don’t women blink during foreplay?
I said to him .. . They don’t have time.


He said to me. . How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
I said to him .. .. I don’t know; it has never happened.


He said to me. . Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and Good- looking?
I said to him . . . They already have boyfriends.


He said….What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
I said. . . A widow.


He said to me…. Why are married women heavier than single women?
I said to him .. . . Single women come home, see what’s in the fridge and go to bed.

Married women come home, see what’s in bed and go to the fridge.

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The Obedient Wife


*I continue to take no credit for the humor I post.  My friends share with me to keep me occupied & stop my bitching about the weather.* Thanks guys!!  Love ya!

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The Obedient Wife’
There was a man,who had worked all his life, had saved all of his money,
And was a real miser when it came to his money.
Just before he died, he said to his wife…’When I die, I want you to take all my money and put it in the casket with me.
I want to take my money to the afterlife with me.’
And so he got his wife to promise him, with all of her heart, that when he died, she would put all of the money into the casket with him.
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Well, he died.

He was stretched out in the casket, his wife was sitting there – dressed in black, and her friend was sitting next to her. When they finished the ceremony, and just before the undertakers got ready to close the casket, the wife said,
‘Wait just a moment!’
She had a small metal box with her; she came over with the box and put it in the casket. Then the undertakers locked the casket down and they rolled it away.
So her friend said,
‘Girl, I know you were not foolish
enough to put all that money in there with your husband.’
The loyal wife replied,
‘Listen, I’m a Christian;
I cannot go back on my word. I promised him that I was going to put that money into the casket with him.’
You mean to tell me you put that money in the casket with him!?!?!?’
‘I sure did,’ said the wife.
‘I got it all together, put it into my account, and wrote him a cheque….
If he can cash it, then he can spend it.’

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