Unexpected Response


NO!

Someone very dear to me blew me off to spend time with someone else.  Oh well, it happens. Right?   However, situations like this have happened frequently over the past few months.

My answer to the situation was to talk about it, civilly, one-on-one.  The response I received???  You’ll NEVER guess…..Not in a million years………..  “When you cancel because you’re sick, I don’t get upset with you.”

Honestly, is one situation equivalent to the other??  Isn’t that like comparing apples and rabbits??

My mouth dropped open– and for a split second I wished them to burst into flames.  But I recovered my composure and simply said.  “Oh, whatever” and moved on.  Since then I feel differently about the relationship.

Any of you  have someone you love implying that you have a choice about being sick??  

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6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Wendy Burnett
    Dec 17, 2010 @ 01:36:22

    Somehow, “I need to cancel because I’m sick,” seems a whole lot different to me than, “I need to cancel because I’d rather spend time with someone else.”
    Spending time with someone else is a CHOICE, being sick is NOT. If this person can’t understand the difference, maybe you don’t really need them in your life any more.

    Every time I hear about something like this happening to someone, it makes me even MORE grateful for the hubby and the roomies. They may not completely “get it” but they do understand that I didn’t just decide to have a flare to cause them trouble. They all put up with a lot, picking up the slack when I can’t do something, and I don’t tell them nearly often enough how much I appreciate them.

    Reply

  2. phylor
    Dec 16, 2010 @ 22:25:55

    It’s hard when folks we love don’t “get it” about chronic illness. There’s something about the word “chronic” that they overlook: just because we chronically ill and/or in pain doesn’t mean we chose this situation (unlike a cold or the flu you catch, or a sprain or a broken arm that heal). It is comparing apples to oranges (or pomagrantes to kumquats)! Sorry to hear that someone close to you doesn’t understand! I like to believe that folks who aren’t chronic, can “get it,” but I’m not sure about that!

    Reply

    • Autoimmune Maven
      Dec 16, 2010 @ 23:14:04

      I’m having doubts myself, and I’m sure the whole “sick” thing gets old after a while. Of course, so does BEING the sick person… I was completely dumbfounded. Thanks for the support!

      Reply

  3. hibernationnow
    Dec 16, 2010 @ 21:53:16

    knew what was coming, I swear. PEOPLE DO NOT GET IT. they don’t understand and don’t lose sleep over it. she may not be the true friend that you think she is/was. I get comments too. People are ignorant and unfortunately no matter what you say, they still won’t believe it. Surround yourself with people who love you and understand you. I get you!!!

    Reply

    • Autoimmune Maven
      Dec 16, 2010 @ 23:11:29

      You’re right, thanks for the encouraging words. I really thought this person “got it”. I guess now I know they don’t. Just hating the whole mess. Thanks for reading!!

      Reply

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