Faith & Health

Since I’ve been sick I find myself turning more and more to faith.  Before illness I only gave it a passing thought and went through phases of going to church and reading my Bible  (love my NIV version!) .  When I was growing up, as an only child, I would go to Bible school every summer with my cousins and we had a blast.  We went to a small country Southern Baptist Church and we all knew everyone.  One of the memories that sticks with me is going to Bible school barefoot, feeling the cool concrete on my feet & drinking too-sweet kool-aid with generic sandwich cookies.

As I grew older, it became “less cool” to go so I stopped.  During that time I became very conscious of a particular close family  member’s negative opinion of church.  Calling other family members “pulpit thumpers” , “Jesus freaks” and other undesirable things.  In my late teens I felt  the desire to return to my faith and this family member made a point to frequently call me the “church lady”.  This REALLY bothered me; I felt singled out and criticized.  Eventually I stopped going.  I should have ignored her and went on.

Even now, that person and those memories still have an impact on my life and spiritual practices.  I’m very defensive in talking with this person about all faith-related topics and try to not bring up the subject at all.  It pisses me off that I feel uncomfortable about this part of my life.  I’m not sure how I’m going to resolve this part of it.

However, my faith has brought me through many horrible situations and dreadfully hard times.  Had I not gotten sick I may not have made the faith-based discoveries and developed the inner sense of peace my faith has given me.  I have not yet found a home church to attend in my area and have some sort of odd hesitation toward going.  However, it’s next on my list to figure out and I’m excited. Frankly, I would rather be sick and aware of how awesome faith is  instead of well and clueless.


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Dominique
    Oct 08, 2010 @ 20:59:39

    Wow. What an important discussion. I have often said that without my faith I would have died a long time ago. I would not have been able to endure CFIDS and FMS for 20+ years.

    I’m not sure how I did it, but I don’t let people who make such comments bother me any more. To be honest, it drives me to pray for them because it reminds me that they are heading to a place I have no desire to ever visit.

    I also realize that much of what they say comes from ignorance or wounding. People don’t usually hate the church/Christians naturally. They usually end up down that road as the result of some hurt they suffered at the hands of the church or Christians.

    I think it is awesome that you are on this journey. I am looking forward to see how you work this out.

    Thanks for being real and sharing this with us!


  2. Maryn Christophel
    Aug 26, 2010 @ 11:38:08

    The subject of faith is such a good one Sheila and yet it is another one that seems to be complicated. Just like you I was a church child, but we stopped after a family move and I have just dabbled since then. I don’t think that I have the God gene, or maybe it is just an aversion to how mankind has created so many silly rules that I have stayed away. But I know that with the challenges that we face everyday it is important to believe in a higher power. And so I would say that I have become more and more spiritual. My church is Kauai, and Lake Tahoe and places so incredible that I know there is more to this than what we can ever come up with and it gives me peace. Thanks for having the guts to bring up the subject.


  3. hibernationnow
    Aug 25, 2010 @ 22:00:08

    Oh, we must talk!!! Methotrexate was wondrful for me until it ended me in the hospital-check your sore throat/lungs. Have been on Cellcept and Imuran and now just on Plaqquanel and tramadol. I have an auto immune disease AND fibromiyalgia. I know how you feel and sometimes we just don’t feel good at all. all the best, Laurie


    • autoimmunemaven
      Aug 25, 2010 @ 22:24:54

      Thanks for the heads-up Laurie. Did you develop a dry cough too? Did it turn out to be an infection or lung fibrosis from the methotrexate? I’ve failed imuran and will probably move on to humira if this isn’t successful. I’m on a ton of other meds too and take between 24 to 30 pills a day. It seems to be working though so I’m not gonna bitch too bad! Thanks SO much for reading my blog!!


  4. spicyt
    Aug 24, 2010 @ 23:30:35

    Beautiful post! I’m the same way…always had faith and believed, went to church when I was young. Since my “sickness” began I have rediscovered my intense faith in God and still pray daily as I always have, but it is deeper somehow now. I haven’t found the right church yet, but will. Thanks for sharing this part of being ill that we sometimes look over.


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